I’ve written many times about my thoughts on control. This word can encompass a variety of definitions.
I’d advocate for control in the sense that we must be in control of ourselves as parents.We all have learned patterns of behaviour. What’s important is to limit the effect that our behaviour and reactions have on our children’s. We must endeavour to think before we react and make choices that won’t pass our issues directly onto our children. I also think it’s important that we take control as parents in that we display confidence and willingness to make choices that are beyond our children’s abilities.
Control quickly goes wrong when it goes from being an adjective to a verb. “Doing to” rather than “working with”. It’s so hard to hear or read about situations where parents can’t even step back and see how they are trying to control their children. They often only focus on the detrimental results. It’s even worst when the undesirable behaviours trigger more efforts to control and the cycle deepens!
Other posts sharing my thoughts around “control”: