I’ve written many times about my thoughts on control. This word can encompass a variety of definitions.
I’d advocate for control in the sense that we must be in control of ourselves as parents.We all have learned patterns of behaviour. What’s important is to limit the effect that our behaviour and reactions have on our children’s. We must endeavour to think before we react and make choices that won’t pass our issues directly onto our children. I also think it’s important that we take control as parents in that we display confidence and willingness to make choices that are beyond our children’s abilities.
Control quickly goes wrong when it goes from being an adjective to a verb. “Doing to” rather than “working with”. It’s so hard to hear or read about situations where parents can’t even step back and see how they are trying to control their children. They often only focus on the detrimental results. It’s even worst when the undesirable behaviours trigger more efforts to control and the cycle deepens!
Other posts sharing my thoughts around “control”:
Hi Annie,
I am also glad you have found me. I have seen your blog before but I think it was many months ago. Your life on the island sounds wonderful. I have lived near Courtenay before and miss so many things there – people, and of course, the water.
So many of your posts resonate with me and I will enjoy coming back here often. Thanks for leaving such a nice comment on my site. :-)
Carrie.
I found you via the continuum concept blog ring and I’m so glad I did. You have a beautiful blog and I love that we’re local, relatively speaking.
The Courtenay/Comox area is so beautiful! We’re going to be moving in the next few months up to Prince Rupert because of my husband’s work. After four years, we’ll be able to move again where we’d like. I’d love to be back in the Kootenays- east or west. You’re pictures were making me homesick!
Oh yes…control. The big one. Sometimes it is so hard to see your own (my own, I’ll speak for myself) control stuff even when its right in front of me. So yes, in control of ourselves as parents, I totally agree!
Thanks for this. It’s tough not falling into the old patterns. Reassurance is nice.
Let’s see how we survive a week with my parents… I think I might be visiting your blog more often :o)