Why do people do this?
They do it because they think they have to make a child to go to sleep on their own or that it’s important to have strict routines and there’s no room for the child’s wants or needs. Sometimes it’s simply because they don’t want to care for their child any more for the day. It’s “me” time in the evenings. Sometimes it’s because they actually believe that their young child is being “difficult” in not submitting just to irritate them. A lesson needs to be taught about who’s in charge. Sometimes it’s done to the child because the parent thinks the child wants to be put to sleep this way. They actually believe the child prefers to “fuss” before sleep.
After distressful nights of falling asleep from exhaustion crying out for their parent for nourishment and/or help and comfort they may well just give up. Doing this to a child has consequences to the relationship between parent and child, not to mention the trust, sleep and food issues that child can have throughout the rest of their lives.
Making a child cio is telling them that their bodies are wrong and they aren’t hungry or hurting like they feel. It’s saying that even if they are needing comfort, they aren’t going to get it. It says that they aren’t worth loving and caring for unconditionally.
CIO is about resentment, annoyance, control, confusion, abandonment, and mistrust.
Shouldn’t we want our child to learn that sleep is fundamentally natural and something we do that reenergises our bodies. It should feel good. It isn’t something to be forced or used as punishment.