Oh, hello.

These were the first words to myself this morning when I woke up. I was greeting a part of myself I hadn’t seen in about 8 years. A part that used to sleep very deeply and selfishly soundly. That’s not to say that I’ve had only terrible sleeps since becoming a mother but sleeping is different since. It’s just I’ve obviously been responsible for more than myself over the last years.

So what was different last night?

For one, I washed all the bed linen yesterday (and even a couple of our pillows) in the new fancy washer and dryer we bought recently. It was like sleeping on new washed-once sheets. I really don’t want to think about how substandard my washing machines have been in the past. (La la la la…. thinking of something else…)

Even though I still nursed Leif to sleep and throughout the night a few times, he didn’t spend the whole night glued to my side or head butting me in the back or with his feet up on me. For part of the night, he chose to sleep in the middle of the bed leaving me free to sleep on both sides with my arms down beside me. I smile just thinking about how nice it was to sleep on not just my right side unhindered but also my left.

It occurred to me that if my son is like my daughter, night nursing could be over within the year. It also occurred to me that Leif being my last child, I could go back to sleeping deeply, tossing and turning without regard to a small child next to me…. Well, Leif and sometimes Lily will still sleep in our bed for some time but it’s normal to have more than two bodies in a bed and we all enjoy it. I just won’t have to be half woke to nurse or wonder if he needs to nurse (or pee). It seems like I’ve been doing that for so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to not be needed 24/7.

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13 Responses to Co Sleeping Adventures

  1. ella says:

    what a lovely new stage to enter :)

  2. Mickey S says:

    Oh that loss-of-feeling in the one side-arm-under-the-pillow-alll-night-long feeling! Oh the feet tucked into my belly.
    It is so worth every single sleepless hour!
    I think!
    Yup Yup totally worth it!

  3. Annie says:

    It really is so worth it, Mickey! I love and cherish these times and almost can’t believe that things are going to be different after so long! They grow so fast.

  4. Jo says:

    If you’re missing that nursing through the night thing, just give me a call. I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement! He also enjoys headbutting in the nose when you are half asleep…

    I know I complain about the lack of sleep now (especially when I have to get up and go for a full day’s work in the bush!) but it is nice to be reminded of how sweet it really is to have someone who needs you, and only you.


    And hooray for new washer/dryer, I will have to come and admire them soon :o)

  5. Nancy says:

    I do miss nursing so much sometimes. I really do. But I’m also a much, much nicer person when I’m not sleep deprived. Still, I don’t regret a minute of all our co-sleeping. The whole ride will be over so fast.

  6. debbie says:

    gosh, i just came downstairs from the first night of NOT nursing my 4.75 yr old to sleep…well, not the first, but the first intentional night…instead we alternated between her venting her angry feelings, and us talking sweetly about how much she has changed every year, the things she loves about being almost 5 and the things she misses about being a baby. sniff. and i can’t imagine sleeping with fewer than three in the bed! it’ll happen all too soon, i know…i’m not sure i know how to sleep deeply anymore! how disorienting!

  7. debbie says:

    oh – i also don’t know if i ever told you that we also did EC with the girls. i am very familiar with waking to the restless little body trying to wake itself enough to pee! the nursing over the bowl/potty next to the bed, while the half-sleeping child pees, then snuggling them back in…

  8. Bonnie says:

    I woke up to the realization this morning that our youngest hadn’t joined us in our bed in the middle of the night, as is her routine. What was nice was having a morning chat with my hubby before he left for work and not having to worry about waking her up. But I did miss her warm little body plastered up to mine.

  9. Debbie says:

    Oh to get a full nights sleep…no memory of what that is like. But all the memories that have taken their place: Sweet little breath in my neck, toes tickling my belly, murmurs of love in the middle of the night, morning greetings of the sweetest kind…oh yes, it’s definitely worth it.

  10. Kate says:

    I can SO relate to your post. I’m in a similar position. My last baby has just turned 3, which was the age my others night-weaned. I’m looking forward to some more restful nights! Still, bittersweet.

  11. Lindsay says:

    Since we cut out dairy, Meredith has been sleeping mostly through the night more and more. Usually she still needs to nurse once or twice, but the last week or so she’s actually had a few nights where she hasn’t woken up at all. I’m a bit shocked considering she’s only two and a half and how much she was waking up just a few months ago. She even chose to go and sleep on Kris’s side the other night and stayed there most of the night (until he had to get up for work) completely on her own (we’ve never tried to coerce her to sleep with him, though occasionally when she’s already asleep if I’m restless I have moved her over there). I’m afraid I’m getting a little too used to getting good sleep right before a new baby. ;) Though just being so pregnant I’m often awake in the middle of the night even if she’s not.

  12. Sally says:

    I almost cried when I read that you got to sleep with your arms down beside you!!! *sigh* I have an all-night-needs 3 year old myself. :)

  13. Annie says:

    I love that we understand each other so well here, Sally! I still marvel at sleeping with my arms down. <3

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