“I Want More”

This is what Leif will say to me if I’ve unlatched him before he’s finished nursing in the night.

Sleeping with Leif is often a well rehearsed dance. We go through the motions of sleep, nurse, sleep, cuddle, sleep…

When he was an infant, Leif would root around and make small noises to let me know he wanted to nurse. For a time when he was a little older he’d wake a bit more and have a brief cry to nurse. I was always baffled (as well as perturbed by the sudden waking!) about why he’d need to go to such lengths to let me know what he needed since I’ve always been right there and willing to nurse him. You can imagine how pleased I was when he started using his words to let me know instead.

I stay mostly asleep when I nurse him at night. I wake briefly when asks to nurse and then again when I’m ready to unlatch (if he doesn’t unlatch on his own). I’ll unlatch and then turn my back on him and he’ll either do the same to me or he taps me and says “I want more.”

I love those small words. I know exactly what he wants and am able to fulfil that need.

Leif had a sleep first the other day when our friends were over. Karin, the older girl seemed to pick up on Leif’s sleepiness when I didn’t. I watched her rock Leif in her arms with a practised mother’s sway. After a time, she sat down with him in her lap and hummed to him and rubbed his arm and body. She then got a blanket to wrap him in and did the same with him in her arms. I watched him fall asleep in her arms. It was incredible. He might go to sleep in Cam’s arms like that. She put him carefully down on the couch and stayed lying near him still humming and rubbing the length of his arm.

This girl has a gift. This girl and her brother are gifts. They bring out the best in my kids (perhaps it’s mutual) and even though time spent with them is exciting and fun, there is also calm and peace that comes along with it.