This is what Leif will say to me if I’ve unlatched him before he’s finished nursing in the night.

Sleeping with Leif is often a well rehearsed dance. We go through the motions of sleep, nurse, sleep, cuddle, sleep…

When he was an infant, Leif would root around and make small noises to let me know he wanted to nurse. For a time when he was a little older he’d wake a bit more and have a brief cry to nurse. I was always baffled (as well as perturbed by the sudden waking!) about why he’d need to go to such lengths to let me know what he needed since I’ve always been right there and willing to nurse him. You can imagine how pleased I was when he started using his words to let me know instead.

I stay mostly asleep when I nurse him at night. I wake briefly when asks to nurse and then again when I’m ready to unlatch (if he doesn’t unlatch on his own). I’ll unlatch and then turn my back on him and he’ll either do the same to me or he taps me and says “I want more.”

I love those small words. I know exactly what he wants and am able to fulfil that need.


Leif had a sleep first the other day when our friends were over. Karin, the older girl seemed to pick up on Leif’s sleepiness when I didn’t. I watched her rock Leif in her arms with a practised mother’s sway. After a time, she sat down with him in her lap and hummed to him and rubbed his arm and body. She then got a blanket to wrap him in and did the same with him in her arms. I watched him fall asleep in her arms. It was incredible. He might go to sleep in Cam’s arms like that. She put him carefully down on the couch and stayed lying near him still humming and rubbing the length of his arm.

This girl has a gift. This girl and her brother are gifts. They bring out the best in my kids (perhaps it’s mutual) and even though time spent with them is exciting and fun, there is also calm and peace that comes along with it.

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12 Responses to “I Want More”

  1. If this Lovely Gurrl has that gift of lulling tired boys sleeping then tell her I could use some help over here…. Eli wakes up nearly every hour alllll night long!
    Truly, I am alright with that however a few solid hours in a row would be near magic!

  2. Justine says:

    Beautiful picture of Leify. Pink cheeks, pink lips, and long eyelashes. Damn, that’s nice.

    That’s an amazing story. How old is Karin?

  3. What a sweet story Annie. Such a beautiful picture of Leif. I remember similar faces from my little ladies when they were nurslings. my girls naturally weaned themselves around 2 years. We were co-sleepers until recently, Araina has decided to sleep in her room now. I miss them in the bed, but I do sleep better now.


  4. wendy says:

    such beauty!

  5. Monica says:

    Wow, how beautiful and special to witness this connection. I am currently in the midst of long night with my six month old Evan. Although I am exhausted, it give me great joy to satisfy his needs whatever time of day. These days really do go by so quickly although I hope to nurse much longer this time than with my first.

    Happy to have found your blog!

  6. Lily & Leif's Grammie says:

    This is a very beautiful post. I couldn’t be more proud of you. You are an amazing mother..

  7. Debbie use to be Hicks, now Ashdown says:

    I can’t quite wrap my head around calling you Annie, although I like the name, Heather Baby is what rings in my brain. What an incredible web page you have, sent to me by your mom. I’ve barely scratched the surface but recognize your Lily to be the same face as I knew you to have way back then. I don’t know how you perceive your mom, but your passion about parenting so rings of your mom’s teachings, it’s like I’m reading something that your mom would have written, with the laid back attitude of your dad. She was my guru on all subjects that you write of when you were all little, from cooking to nursing, to guilt free following our hearts when it came to parenting. I think we were pretty evolved for our time. I’m glad you have found your niche, I explore your site with a huge smile on my face. Hugs to you, Debbie

  8. Sarah says:

    Oh, this is so lovely, it made my heart swell. x

  9. debbie says:

    beautiful picture and story…it stops me when i see someone from outside our family have an effect like that on one of my children – it is startling and reassuring at the same time, like learning to trust that there are people out there who can and will care for these little people i love so much…

  10. Lindsay says:

    Beautiful post Annie. :) Meredith occasionally wakes up crying to nurse too, which gave me the same feelings it gave you since I’m always right there. She has started asking at times too though. She was actually showing signs of night weaning on her own for a while, but she’s been sick and is waking up every hour or so wanting to nurse. As much as the decreased nursing at night was nice, I’m so glad to be there for her when she need to nurse. That’s really sweet about your friend too. Sounds like she has a real gift.

  11. Annie says:

    Karin is almost 11. She is such a natural.

    I’m with you, Lisa. I’m cherishing the co sleeping moments but do look forward to one day being able to starfish on my half of our king size bed.

    So good to meet you, Monica!

    Debbie Hicks- I have so many small yet fond memories of time spent with you and your family! <3

    Thanks everyone for your comments!

  12. mamaayanna says:

    Just found your blog!
    love to read more (tomorrow.. have to go snuggle up with my little girl with fever)

    thnks for sharing

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