The winner of the EC Starter Kit Giveaway is….

Susan May

I would love a book and a potty! I would like Ingrid Bauer’s “Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene”.

I’m expecting baby#2 in 3 weeks and didn’t do EC with my daughter.

I also put a blog entry and link on my sidebar here:

I’ll email you for your address, Susan May!

Thanks so much to all who entered!

This was the biggest giveaway I’ve done and I’m left with mixed emotions. It was so neat meeting others interested in EC and finding a few new bloggers in the process! On the other hand I have to admit I was a turned off of a few people coming to seemingly just get a “freebie”. Someone even entered twice under different names because they didn’t agree with my assessment of Laurie Boucke’s boring books. Kinda sad.

I won’t stop doing the occasional giveaways to offer things I really believe in and want to share. (I already have a really great book for the next one!!) I’m just not sure what I can do to dissuade freebie hunters from entering…

12 Responses to Giveaway Winner

  1. Laurie Boucke says:

    Hey Annie,

    Now that you’ve been so rude and judgmental about me a few times here, I’d like to share a little perspective.

    I believe that it is important to have a sense of community support for ec and also for its authors as we all work towards gaining more acceptance of this practice. If I were offering people a choice in a giveaway, I’d use more gentle words such as, “These books resonated the most with me,” or else I would not even mention things I dislike.

    It’s a pity that you feel the need to disrespect an ec author when there is a chance that someone else whose brain works differently than yours might be turned on to or helped with ec through that author instead of, or in combination with, the ones that you prefer.

    Here’s some history. I wrote the first articles and brochures on this topic in the 1980s, then the first book in 1991. At that time, almost no one in North America or Europe had heard of ec/ipt. If you think some people are resistant to it today, it was far worse back then. As the concept of going diaperless was considered hippy, I found that the best way to get through to people was to write in a style that you find boring.

    Then along came the Internet and people requested a longer book than my first one. In 2000 I wrote the most comprehensive book on the subject. One goal was to gain respect for the practice in the medical community, so among other things, I compiled the largest collection of medical and historical writings on infant toilet training.

    Although the latest version of “Infant Potty Training” is now much shorter, it includes a lot of tactics, cross-cultural studies, anthropological reports, photos and new info that you won’t find in the other books today.

    I believe that all the ec books have merit, and I support them all.

  2. Annie says:

    I’m not sure what to make of this comment.

    Assuming this is actually Laurie Boucke, I’m wondering if you’re able to take a step back from your personal feelings and the stories going on for you about my words and intentions. You think I’m rude and judgemental because I didn’t enjoy your book and would recommend other books over it? This is a personal blog filled with all kinds of my own thoughts and opinions. When I decided to do this giveaway using a starter kit that offers many options for information, I wanted to give what I believe is the best information out there. Unfortunately, that doesn’t include your work. That can be hard to hear, no doubt, but it’s honest. I wouldn’t want to offer something I didn’t find useful or enjoy just for the sake of being “nice”. I wish you hadn’t taken it so personally though but as a published author, I’m surprised you don’t have thicker skin. After all, I said that it was a “yawn and a half” and “boring”. Not exactly harsh. Perhaps this latest comment is just another attempt at advertising?

    I question your integrity, whether you are Laurie Boucke or not but especially if you are Laurie Boucke. I’m thoroughly confused by your intentions when leaving the other two comments you did on the giveaway post.

    The first one is from “Annemarie” and you say that your favourite book is your own. You say you believe every EC book as merit, why not let these two outstanding books be in the spotlight? Why come here trying to sell your own book as being the best when it’s clearly not my/our cup of tea?

    Annemarie on Thursday, July 16th, 2009 at 4:10 pm:

    Different strokes, my fave is the Infant Potty Training book. It seems more practical and down to earth to me. I’m not very crunchy.

    There’s a new shorter version with color photos, really lovely. It has lots of medical reports that the other books you mentioned lack, and the cross-cultural info rocks!

    You come back the next day pretending to be someone different and post further interest in your own book, despite it being clear that it isn’t offered in the giveaway. It seems as though you’re more interested in selling books than supporting other EC authors.

    Liz on Friday, July 17th, 2009 at 6:34 am:

    Sweet! I’d love to win this for my sister-in-law who is pregnant. I’ve told her about ec and she seemed open. If I can choose from all the books, I’d prefer a Laurie Boucke book (the new one if it’s on offer) because my SIL is a nurse and can better relate to Boucke’s writing style. Otherwise, my second choice would be the GrossLoh book. Thanks for doing this.

    I found the two different comments from the same person disturbing and now it’s even more so with a third saying that you are in fact, Laurie Boucke. I’m embarrassed and sad for you if that is who you are. You think I should support you as an EC author simply because you write about a topic I believe in? I really value honesty and integrity. I’m more inclined to blindly support someone who models these values than simply because they write about a topic I happen to enjoy.

  3. Krista says:

    I am very curious about all of this. I’m wondering what was going on for Laurie, if she is the author of the previous two comments you’re mentioning, to not be able to just instead leave a comment like:

    “hey, I’m Laurie, I wrote the book you find boring, I’m having a hard time with the idea that I don’t please everyone and I am worried you’re deterring others from trying my book…. it’s really important to me that I’m given a fair shake. By the way, thanks for the generous giveaway and for supporting something we’re both so passionate about….”.

    Or something like that, eh?

    I think that’s a lot more honest and easier to respond to, it’s not trying to be “nice”, but it’s not “weird or creepy or sneaky” either, which is really hard to take! I have such a hard time with indirectness like in the first comments. Very confusing.

    I wonder if Laurie has the same impulse reaction that I, and so many others, have, that when I hear something I don’t like or that triggers pain or insecurity for me, I forget to honestly express myself and instead become passive aggressive, and write my own stories about why that person is saying or doing what they did?

    I so understand that and am still guilty of it, but thankfully, I think I’m getting better all the time. Sorry to hear this all came about through your doing such a lovely giveaway, Annie. I hope if for whoever this is, if it’s Laurie or someone else, that they have gleaned something positive from this interaction… We all can learn from everything we do. Especially our mistakes…. I’m sure you’ve learned a lot too, Annie, through this.

  4. Krista says:

    Ack, I just really need to add something more after re-reading and noting the part where Laurie believes you aren’t supposed to say it out loud if you don’t like something.

    I really, desperately, DESPERATELY wish for a world to live in where we are all free to express ourselves, our opinions, our preferences, our likes and dislikes, etc., etc., without fear, and be allowed to own that, and not be punished, disliked, criticized or ridiculed for it….

    Without other people taking it on board so heavily that we all end up having to walk on eggshells around others, be “fake nice”, not be ourselves, be dishonest, in order to spare other people feeling crappy about themselves.

    Could we have a world in which I am responsible for my own self-worth and you are responsible for yours, and what we think about each other doesn’t diminish that?

    Can’t we have a world filled with healthy individuals who are so OK with themselves that they actually welcome negative expression from others, they actually WANT to hear if someone else isn’t enjoying something they are doing, they welcome it as an opportunity to learn and connect with others, and don’t others opinions on board as reality….?

    We are all on the same team. Your gain is my gain, your joy is my joy, your loss is my loss, your hurt is my hurt. Wouldn’t it be a lovely world if we all operated from that ideal?

    OK. I think I’ve purged enough, I’ll let someone else have a say now… LOL. I felt so triggered when I read that, is all.

  5. Dear Laurie,
    I have to admit I never read your book. In fact I never read any books on ECing or doing Diaper Free.
    My comment is on your ‘strange’ and ‘self-promoting’ comments and your letter here on Annie’s blog.
    One of the hardest thing for lot of us is receiving critique with grace, and come out of it swinging. I think this skill is a necessity especially for a person who creates things in a public domain.
    I understand that you might not like what Annie said on her personal blog. I could perhaps understand that you got offended by her remark. I insist on pointing out that first of all this is her blog. We all come here to find and appreciate Annie’s authenticity in everything she does and even learn from her path in her life. Annie speaks her mind. Her blog is her turf under her rules. If people don’t like it they don’t have to read it. But, as you see how busy her blog is, people do like her opinions and her spirit. They know what they are getting with her. Also, they are certain type of people who perhaps think alike on some level or would like to.
    On another note, you said “… in the 1980s, then the first book in 1991. At that time, almost no one in North America or Europe had heard of ec/ipt.”
    I am not sure who did your research for you. Have you talked to women in Europe? Where if you don’t mind me asking?
    It’s just that from my personal experience I find that hard to believe. I was born in late seventies and I must inform you that my Mom ECed me. She also did so with my older sister in 1965. All women around her ECed their babies, even women in the 80’s when I was babysitting the infants. And I don’t think it was a fluke. It was just what was done … cloth diapers just in case but the baby was given opportunities to eliminate on a potty. Babies were usually out of diapers by the age of 1 year. My Grandmother did the same thing with my Mom and I assure you that my Great Grandma practiced the same thing.
    In conclusion, maybe I’ll grant you this. Yes, they might have not heard about the label of EC/IPT in Europe when you were working on your book but I assure you the practice had been known all along. Maybe your researcher did not know how to ask the right questions because I seriously cannot understand how this fact would have been missed. Maybe your researcher was too stuck on labeling things because I know one thing … back than nobody bothered doing research, write books with pictures, publish brochures, make their names from something pointless, something so ‘common-knowledge’, something so ‘non-money making’.
    I hope you can take this criticism with some grace and humility.

  6. And Dear Annie,
    Even though we’ve never met in person (yet) thanks to your honesty, authenticity, and integrity, I feel like I have gotten to know you well enough that I would open my house to you, invite you and your fam over for supper and introduce you all to my family. :)
    It is people like you that make all the difference in today’s world. You are inspiring in many ways. Heck, you inspired me to finally commit to getting my own xtracycle. :)
    Where I live I don’t find the people in my community very supportive of my life choices. I wish you would live next door to me and in a way you do.
    I visit your blog once in a while. I enjoy reading your notes. They are sometimes funny, sometimes educational, sometimes inspirational, and sometimes silly. You are always helpful when I have any questions, even if you don’t know the answers yourself.
    V & the kids.

  7. Annie says:

    Thanks so much for the comments and kind words!

    Krista- It’s incredible how different it would have felt to read a comment like that. That comment was all about connection and trying to find mutual ground and understanding! It assumes positive intent and is vulnerable and yet empowered. Wow, how I wish it’d have gone that way instead!

    You have an amazing writing skill and I always appreciate reading your thoughts, but especially as a third party because you bring such clarity. I want to live in that world where everyone is responsible for their own feelings and doesn’t use indirect methods to try and get what they need….

    Veronika- It’s so true that pre washing machines it wouldn’t have been possible or practical to use as many diapers for as long as they are used now. My grandmother, and a degree less for my mother, were also out of diapers by a very early age. EC isn’t this magical new thing but the added focus of connection does seem to be fairly new.

    Books on EC are so important but they are basically just compiled information on a very old and basic idea. The writer can take this information and make it comprehensible and inviting… or not and it can just be complied information.

    That’s what I love about Ingrid’s book. She isn’t just sharing facts on EC, but has helped explain the connection in it and how it works in a natural inspired everyday life. So down to earth. That works for me. I found Christine’s book to be better for the more factual and, I suppose, practical side of EC. Her writing style is easy and fun to read. I think these are both wonderful books, one for someone more inspired by a connected lifestyle and the other for any type person but especially for those more mainstream and new to a diaper free idea.

    I wish we lived closer too, Veronika! We could ride our Xtracycles together. I love the friendships that can be found online but wish for more in real life. Moving to a new place as meant having to find that again. Not quite so easy… <3 <3 <3

  8. Lindsay says:

    For what it’s worth, I found Annie’s assessment of all the books to be accurate for me too. The first one I ever read was Christine Gross-Loh’s and I quite enjoyed it. I then got out Laurie Boucke’s and couldn’t even get through it. I read a lot and have read lots of scientific articles and textbooks for university, but I never finished this book. If it had been my first and only EC resource, I’m not sure I would have continued. Luckily, there are tons of other resources on the internet, chatting with friends, and through other books. I loved Ingrid Bauer’s book.

    Still, I respected Laurie Boucke and the fact that she was spreading the word about EC. I feel her book was good for someone doing research on the topic or maybe medical people, but not for parents wanting to learn how it’s done. To each her own. Other people may disagree on that. If that really was Laurie Boucke who left two comments and then at the top here though, I don’t have much respect for her anymore. Seems to be a pretty passive-aggressive and self-serving thing to do, and pretty insulting to Annie who was doing something very generous. I think her own actions have spoken much louder about her and who she is than anything Annie said.

    Everyone should be able to have their own say on their own blog. Annie didn’t trash your book, she gave her honest opinion. I wouldn’t want to go out looking for information and reviews on books and only find positive comments. I appreciate the negative comments as much as the positive. And if it were negative comments on my own work, I’d use it as an opportunity to improve for next time.

  9. Lindsay says:

    Oh, I also wanted to comment and say that I don’t not buy a product simply because of something someone else says. What’s boring to one person, may be entertaining to another. In high school I used to read old biology textbooks for fun. Most of my friends would have called them boring. They read teen magazines, which I always thought were a yawn and a half. ;)

    I take online reviews with a grain of salt, especially just one. The beauty of being human is that we all have different likes and dislikes and that’s okay and we should feel free to express that. For someone to get all worked up about one poor review (and to call someone rude and judgmental for not liking your book boggles my mind) is just odd to me. I can’t imagine it would be nice to see poor reviews, but as the author of a book I’m surprised you don’t have thicker skin about it. I’m sure you have lots of great reviews about your books too.

  10. greenteacher says:

    Annie, I just wanted to say that your giveaway has gotten be back on the EC bandwagon. I have thought alot about how I would or could manage to catch all of the twins pees and poos and still have time to breathe, but I’ve realized that I really do want to try it again…so I’m reading Ingrid Bauer’s book. I don’t want to regret not giving it another try. So far, today I’ve caught 3 poos and 3 pees :) I still have to learn to read their pee cues, as right now I am guessing, but so far so good! In the long run, it will pay off in many ways. Thanks again!

  11. Annie says:

    Thanks guys!

    G- I’m so glad you’re giving it a go again. Try not to have any expectations and you wont be disappointed. Catch as much as you can and call it a success. Misses happen with all parents and babies! One baby is so much work and two… oi…

  12. Sarah says:

    Crikey. You did put a bee in the bonnet of *someone* somewhere there, didn’t you Annie?!!

    I’m shocked. I also feel rather embarrassed and sad if this really is Laurie Boucke posting again and again. I mean, is she sitting there googling herself or something?!…

    Bravo for all the comments, especially Krista’s astute observations and writing on freedom of expression- thank you very much for that ;)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *