The last few days have been largely a time of self reflection, checking in to see if I’m where I want to be or at least heading in the right direction. This is something I try and do every once and a while and lately it felt important because I’ve been feeling out of balance.

I’ve discovered a few things:

I need more peace in my life and more freedom for my family. It’s been too long since I last reminded myself that I value peace and remember that I’m not the only one with answers or a good way to approach something. I don’t actually think my way is the best way (at least not most of the time) but sometimes it’s easier to tell my child how to do something or just do it for them. Being patient and allowing them the room to try for themselves is what learning through living is all about!

Off to bushwack

We need more moments of deeper connection. Really great connecting moments can be like a spark reminding us both in a wordless instant why it’s worth working together to meet a common end. These moments can happen all the time on their own but can also be made with a little extra kindness and consideration to the loved one you want to connect with.

Wondering if she can climb out the window.

My biggest personal struggle is still finding a way to work with my partner like I want to work with my children. Making sense of the needs I know I have and wish I could have met by my partner¬†and accepting he may not be willing or able to meet them. Being willing to have unconditional love regardless. Focusing on the fact that I love him because he is a good person (= judgement for lack of further explanation). We have common goals, if not similar methods of making those goals happen. Allowing myself to trust, even just a little bit in the hopes that it will grow more trust. Even as I write this, I’m not sure I mean it, but I suppose it’s a start.

Beauty

I still feel somewhat unbalanced but at least I have my values, priorities and goals a bit more straight and I’m sure in the coming days things will be even more clear.

9 Responses to Checking In With Myself

  1. Lucy Dolan says:

    Hi Annie. I hope you find that extra something for yourself. It’s hard keeping everything in balance. I have had a terrible two weeks and wondered if I would come back out of it, but I have. I have also been taking stock and trying to spot the things around me that bring richness and depth to my life. We all need those little epiphanies to feel connected to things. Wishing you many! xx

  2. I’m so impressed that you’ve been able to create the space for this self evaluation. It’s so important but can be so difficult to do. I’m so happy to be back home in the Kootenays again – I find so much of that stuff sorts itself out over here and I’m so not looking forward to my departure! You and Cam are both strong so I’m sure you’ll find a happy meeting place. Enjoy your weekend!

  3. debbie says:

    this month has felt a lot like that for me too – some darker days of self-reflection, coming from feeling disconnected…i found myself thinking of how i’d like my children to remember me when they are older – what qualities will they remember in their bones about their mama? that helps me somewhat with them, is helping me invite more joy and beauty into our days, instead of the straight ahead struggle. slows us down for more connections…i’m hearing you!

  4. Kate says:

    I’m feeling some unbalance too. Must check in with myself too and seek some of that lovely balance again! It ain’t easy!

  5. Magda says:

    Oh wow, Annie, what a great post… I can see I’m not the only one self-reflecting… Maybe it this time of year, somehow..? New beginnings? It seems like that to me – I’m sensing a shift in my relationship with my dd (almost 5yo) – she doesn’t need me quite as much as she used to, which is strangely leaving me somewhat lost. I need to get a feel for where the balance is now, find myself, find us, reconnect with her and with dp.
    Wishing you finding your peace and freedom Annie…

  6. Annie says:

    <3 Thank you everyone for your comments!

  7. Nora says:

    Lovely post. I am also seeking right now. After 10 years with my partner, we are still investing into each other and not coasting.

    Very much enjoy your blog. I wish you all the luck and patience you seek!

  8. Dawn Suzette says:

    Lovely blog Annie… seeking balance with those I live with seems to be a constant. It is especially challenging when my little girl changes like the wind…
    This has been a time for reflection here too. Some of the reason I have been missing a bit lately!

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