The last few days have been largely a time of self reflection, checking in to see if I’m where I want to be or at least heading in the right direction. This is something I try and do every once and a while and lately it felt important because I’ve been feeling out of balance.
I’ve discovered a few things:
I need more peace in my life and more freedom for my family. It’s been too long since I last reminded myself that I value peace and remember that I’m not the only one with answers or a good way to approach something. I don’t actually think my way is the best way (at least not most of the time) but sometimes it’s easier to tell my child how to do something or just do it for them. Being patient and allowing them the room to try for themselves is what learning through living is all about!
We need more moments of deeper connection. Really great connecting moments can be like a spark reminding us both in a wordless instant why it’s worth working together to meet a common end. These moments can happen all the time on their own but can also be made with a little extra kindness and consideration to the loved one you want to connect with.
My biggest personal struggle is still finding a way to work with my partner like I want to work with my children. Making sense of the needs I know I have and wish I could have met by my partner and accepting he may not be willing or able to meet them. Being willing to have unconditional love regardless. Focusing on the fact that I love him because he is a good person (= judgement for lack of further explanation). We have common goals, if not similar methods of making those goals happen. Allowing myself to trust, even just a little bit in the hopes that it will grow more trust. Even as I write this, I’m not sure I mean it, but I suppose it’s a start.
I still feel somewhat unbalanced but at least I have my values, priorities and goals a bit more straight and I’m sure in the coming days things will be even more clear.