You make me feel hurt.
You make me feel happy.
You make me feel sad.
You make me feel like a bad parent.
You make me feel inadequate.
You make me feel like I can’t do it.
Wow. It’s so disempowering to believe that anyone can make you feel a certain way!
Fortunately, the reality is that no one makes us feel any way. In order to realise this though, one has to take responsibility for their own feelings. People can stimulate our feelings but they aren’t not the cause of them.
When people blame others for making them feel certain ways they are often guided by their own unmet needs. Rather than blame others it would be so much more proactive to look into yourself and figure out what needs you might have that are needing to be met. Perhaps it’s acceptance, support, respect, self respect, understanding, compassion….. ?
I actually wrote out quite a bit more here but decided to leave this post at this point. I highly recommend anyone interested in looking into these ideas further to get the book Non Violent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg from your library or visit the website here.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
I wrote a bit more on my thoughts on guilt and defensive reactions here.