There’s real value to trying to find a way to say “yes” to your child. That doesn’t mean that “no” should be avoided at all costs. Why are so many (AP) parents afraid to say “no”?
“No!” is not a word we like to hear that much from anyone but especially from our children. We ask them questions or ask them to do something and are sometimes surprised and annoyed when the answer is “no”. What we were really asking is that they obey us and are telling them what to do- only in question form. Why did we ask if we weren’t prepared to hear more than one of the two options? Must our children always obey? They may rightly have their own ideas or wants in the moment.
Our children may just have a strong need for autonomy which all children feel at some point. There’s real power in being able to say “no” and in an effort to avoid power struggles, I’d like my child to feel safe and comfortable enough to be able to say “no”, and “yes” doesn’t become something I never hear. What you resist, will persist, right?
I think part of the problem comes from societal expectations. This idea that manners or politeness are critical elements of being, is distorted and unbalanced in the perspective of the continuum concept. Suggesting “no” is simply being contrary or “rude” is inaccurate. Why do we cave to these senseless societal pressures instead of trusting our own inherent sense of what’s right or what we need?