“Jackal” language is an NVC term that refers to critical communication that labels, judges and blames.
It’s my opinion that this kind of thinking can have an important place in helping us moving on from difficult feelings and experiences. Jackal language offers us an opportunity to get in touch with the feelings and needs behind the words. If you don’t face those judging words you may just end up pushing them down only to see them pop up again and again.
I wanted to share a link to an online Jackal Dictionary. I love that you can click on typical jackal phrases we might say and you can see examples of feelings and needs that might be behind the phrase.
jackal speak: “He’s a bully!”
- feelings: angry, indignant, disillusioned
- needs: fairness, autonomy, honour
jackal speak: “I work hard; I deserve to come home to a clean house.”
- feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
- needs: ease, mutuality, support
jackal speak: “Why are you so mean?”
- feelings: afraid, confused
- needs: love, warmth, acceptance
I’ve had a friend visit this week so I’m a bit behind on my reading and responding to comments. Don’t forget to put your name in for the NVC book giveaway that ends Monday when we do the draw.